Gravitas Notices

Below are official documents written by Gravitas, including PSAs to employees as well as advertisement copies.

Unattended Cultures

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Reminder to all Personnel

From: Admin &lt;admin@gravitas.nova&gt;

To: All

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 * For the health and safety of your fellow Facility employees, please do not store unlabeled bacterial cultures in the cafeteria fridge.


 * Similarly, the cafeteria dishwasher is incapable of handling petri "dishes", despite the nomenclature.


 * We thank you for your consideration.


 * -Admin


 * The Gravitas Facility

Casual Friday!

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Casual Friday!

From: Admin &lt;admin@gravitas.nova&gt;

To: All

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 * To all employees;


 * The facility is pleased to announced that starting this week, all Fridays will now be Casual Fridays!


 * Please enjoy the clinically proven de-stressing benefits of casual attire by wearing your favorite shirt to the lab.


 * NOTE: Any personnel found on facility premises without regulation full body protection will be put on immediate notice.


 * Thank-you and have fun!


 * -Admin


 * The Gravitas Facility

Dishbot

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Please Claim Your Bot

From: Admin &lt;admin@gravitas.nova&gt;

To: All

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 * While we appreciate your commitment to office upkeep, we would like to inform whomever installed a dishwashing droid in the cafeteria that your prototype was found grievously misusing dish soap and has been forcefully terminated.


 * The remains may be collected at Security Block B.


 * We apologize for the inconvenience and thank you for your timely collection of this prototype.


 * -Admin


 * The Gravitas Facility

Mailroom Etiquette

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ENCRYPTION LEVEL: NONE
Reminder: Mailroom Etiquette

From: Admin &lt;admin@gravitas.nova&gt;

To: All

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 * Please do not have live bees delivered to the office mail room. Requests and orders for experimental test subjects may be processed through admin.


 * Please request all test subjects through admin.


 * Thank-you.


 * -Admin


 * The Gravitas Facility

NEW SECURITY PROTOCOL

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Subject: New Security Protocol

From: Admin &lt;admin@gravitas.nova&gt;

To: All

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 * NOTICE TO ALL PERSONNEL


 * We are currently undergoing critical changes to facility security that may affect your workflow and accessibility.


 * To use the system, simply remove all hand coverings and place your hand on the designated scan area, then wait as the system verifies your employee identity.


 * PLEASE NOTE


 * All keycards must be returned to the front desk by [REDACTED]. For questions or rescheduling, please contact security at [REDACTED]@GRAVITAS.NOVA.


 * Thank-you.


 * -Admin


 * The Gravitas Facility

Printing Pod Promo

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PUBLIC RELEASE
Introducing the latest in 3D printing technology:

The Gravitas Home Printing Pod

We are proud to announce that printing advancements developed here in the Gravitas Facility will soon bring new, bio-organic production capabilities to your old home printers.

What does that mean for the average household?

Dinner frustrations are a thing of the past. Simply select any of the pod's 5398 pre-programmed recipes, and voila! Delicious pot roast ready in only .87 seconds.

Prefer the patented family recipe? Program your own custom meal template for an instant taste of home, or go old school and create fresh, delicious ingredients and prepare your own home cooked meal.

Dinnertime has never been easier!

Projected for commercial availability early next year.

Brought to you by the Gravitas Facility.

Mining Gun Promo

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PUBLIC RELEASE
Bring your mining operations into the twenty-third century with new Gravitas personal excavators.

Improved particle condensers reduce raw volume for more efficient product shipping - and that's good for your bottom line.

Licensed for industrial use only, resale of Gravitas equipment may carry a fine of up to $200,000 under the Global Restoration Act.

Brought to you by the Gravitas Facility.

Thermo-Nullifier Promo

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PUBLIC RELEASE
Brought to you by the Gravitas Facility.

Patent Pending